Down on the Bayou
by kitkat681
Summary: Her hair is blonde, but it shouldn't be. The beard on my face is all wrong. She's used to the best of the best, not living in a shack on the Bayou. They have us hidden away for our safety. They didn't care about our sanity. Drabble-ish. Bella/Edward pairing.
1. Chapter 1

**Um...hi again. This will not be a daily drabble, as the chapters are a bit longer and I'm busy as fuck. **

**I'm thinking two or three chapters a week...more if I get some more chapters in the bank.**

**My drabble girls, Edward's Eternal and BellaEdwardlover1991 are with me, as always - but any mistakes are mine as I usually mess around with the chapters after they've seen them. *blushes***

**And after all that shit...I now give you...'Down on the Bayou'**

* * *

The thick length of my beard tickled my throat as I looked down at the end of my line.

Fuck…another boot.

I wasn't sure how much longer I could take the boredom.

Fishing wasn't fun.

Living in a shack wasn't fun.

Being a resident of the state of Alabama wasn't fun.

But I guess it was better than being dead.

"How are they biting, dear?"

I looked over my shoulder at my _wife_ and realized there was one good thing about the South.

It was always so damn hot, you had to wear as few clothes as possible.

Which was why there were miles of skin on display for my viewing pleasure at the moment.

I started at her feet, loving the chipped polish that graced her elegant toes.

Her tiny white shorts left nothing to the imagination and I could tell there was not a thing beneath the fabric.

_Hello commando._

Her tank top was tied off at her waist, leaving her smooth, tanned stomach visible.

The crowning glory was the way her hair was piled on top of her head, her long neck just begging for my lips.

The smirk on her face made me realize she was still waiting for a response and I shook my head and tried to remember what the fuck she'd asked me.

Fish…right.

"They're not. I think the beavers must have broken through one of the levees up north. I'll have to take a ride up there and see why the water's not flowing."

I gazed up at her as she cocked her leg out to the side and shifted her weight, her muscles popping enticingly.

"Well if you think I'm going with you, you have another thing coming," she spat, waving her hand around her face to ward off the mosquitoes.

"Bella, _darlin'_, if I took you with me, I'd be too tempted to toss your ass overboard."

**So yeah...I am in no way making fun of anyone who lives in Alabama, the South, on the Bayou or eats beaver.**

**See you...soon-ish.  
**


	2. Chapter 2

**Important stuff down below...**

* * *

"You're such a shit, you know that? You act like it's _my_ fault we're stuck here," Bella snapped, walking toward me down the rickety dock.

"Um…answer me this, genius: would we be here, stuck in hell, if you hadn't spilled your guts?" I hissed, tossing my fishing pole down as I stood to confront her.

She was so damn small; the top of her head barely came to my chin.

_Don't think about how soft her skin would be._

"What was I supposed to do? They would have kept ruining people's lives, Edward…killing people! I couldn't live with that on my shoulders."

I didn't want to respect her.

I didn't want to comfort her.

I wanted to keep hating her.

But as I watched a big, fat tear fall down her perfect cheek, I couldn't stop myself.

I reached out and pulled her against my chest, feeling her wrap her little arms around my waist.

"I'm so sorry," she whispered, her misery making her voice thick.

'"I know you are. I should stop being such a shit. I knew when I started working for you almost four years ago, you would make my life hell. I just didn't realize I would end up there as well."

* * *

**I was going to update tomorrow...but I figured this was the easiest way to reach you all.**

**I'm sure most of you already have heard that the fandom lost an amazingly supportive reader and a wonderful person in general, Gisela , aka Mad4Hugh, who was hit by a car at Comic Con today. I had the pleasure of getting to know her through email and her awesome reviews of my stories. She was a kind and generous person and she will be missed.  
**

**If you have the ability to donate, whether it be your time or hard earned cash, or would just like to stop by the blog and leave your love for Gisela, here is the link.  
**

**fandom4twifang . blogspot . com**

**I will be contributing a OS to the compilation, as are many other talented authors.  
**

**So...sorry to end on some sadness.  
**


	3. Chapter 3

"Why couldn't they have sent us to Alaska or something? Why did they have to stick us in the armpit of America?" Bella sniffled.

Her hands moved from around my waist and wiped at her face.

Even tear-stained and snotty, she was still the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen.

"They wanted us somewhere _they_ would never think to look," I replied with a sigh, already feeling her pulling away from me and any comfort she might find in my arms.

When the FBI stormed into her office six months earlier and changed our whole lives, I really thought we might finally be able to explore the underlying attraction that always erupted whenever we were close to each other.

But instead of sharing the flimsy mattress in the bedroom, she had relegated me to the floor, with only a thin blanket to snuggle with.

Rude.

"I hate it here," she whispered, burying her face in her palms.

My hands rested gently on her delicate shoulders, angry that there was nothing I could do.

They had us hidden away for our own safety.

They didn't give a fuck about our sanity.

* * *

**So a few more hints...and sorry for the armpit thing Alabama residents :)**

**Most of you are on the right track with your guesses.  
**

**I liked this Monday/Wednesday/Friday schedule. I'm thinking of sticking to it.  
**

**See you Monday!  
**


	4. Chapter 4

"Are you really going upstream to hunt for beavers?" Bella whispered as she stepped away from me.

Her white-blonde hair glimmered like sunshine, but I could see the real color hiding beneath.

When they had taken us, they tried to alter our appearance, another level of security they'd said.

The female agent took Bella into the shitty motel bathroom and hours later, she'd reappeared as a blonde.

Her gorgeous mahogany waves had been dulled down, beaten into submission by the dye.

But now that several months had passed, her natural color was staging a revolt.

Dark roots bled through the blonde, reminding me of what once was.

I ran my hand over the thick scruff of my beard in disgust.

I hated it, but I'd been forced to reinvent myself as well.

My once closely-shorn hair was now a wild mess around my face and the thick layer of fur covering my jaw helped to disguise me even further.

I was no longer Anthony Masen, executive assistant to Marie Swan, CEO of Swan Pharmaceuticals.

No, now I was Edward Cullen, resident of Coden, Alabama and married to my high school sweetheart, Bella.

And apparently…I really was about to go hunting for some beavers.

* * *

**I love that jansails _attempts_ to keep me on the straight and narrow, but I always manage to fuck it up somehow :)**

**Kgunter34 had an epic review last time, explaining even down in Georgia they make fun of people from Alabama. And perhaps they should have given more thought before they named their college football team after that time of the month (They are the Crimson Tide - True Fact)**

**Why are you getting another chapter? Eh, my kids are napping and my house is sorta clean, so I'm at loose ends. That and I just finished chapter 15 and figured I had some to spare. I'm terrible at trying to stay on a schedule! See you Monday for some beaver hunting!  
**


	5. Chapter 5

I had hoped I would be able to venture upstream alone, but when I passed by my neighbor, Carlisle Platt, he demanded he join me.

"I tell you what, Eddie boy, you gotta have a shitload a patience to deal with that Ice Queen a yours."

I scowled over at Carlisle, my eyes only moving from his face when he tossed me a cold beer.

"Don't talk about my woman like that," I snapped, tired of always hearing about what a bitch my wife was.

It had been harder for her to acclimate to our new lifestyle than it had been for me.

She had been raised in the lap of luxury.

I had been bounced around from one foster home to another.

Her parents had given her a $60,000 car for her eighteenth birthday.

When I turned eighteen and aged out of the system, the great state of Illinois had given me a check for $200 and a swift kick in the ass.

We both had suffered through losses that shook the very ground we walked on: my parents were killed when I was only three, and her entire family had been lost at sea when she was twenty, but instead of our mutual pain bringing us closer, it only seemed to highlight our differences.

She had been loved and cherished while I had been treated like trash.

But I refused to let people look down on her.

It had been hard for her to leave everything she'd ever known.

"I'm just sayin'…if my woman got on me the way yours does, she'd a had a fat lip," Carlisle said through a belch as he steered the small fishing boat up the shallow creek.

River grass and lilypads reached out and tried to grab hold of the craft, getting stuck in the blades of the outboard motor.

"You just don't understand how she is. I took her out of her fancy element when I brought her back down here," I hedged, praying that the back story the Feds had laid out would hold.

Apparently Edward Cullen had been a golden boy down here.

He disappeared when he went up north to go to college.

Now he had returned, bringing his snooty, northern wife with him.

I hated trying to live in this guy's shadow.

But I'd do anything to keep Bella safe.

Anything.

* * *

**I know the FBI probably wouldn't have stuck them down there living someone else's life, but I like in a world of my own creation and you love me for it :)**

**Apparently I need to add some squirrel and armadillo hunting, too to make this more realistic. I love you guys and your reviews **

**See you Wednesday!**


	6. Chapter 6

Carlisle dropped the anchor and we waded through the murky water, finally coming onto dry land.

I stretched my arms wide, enjoying the sun on my bare skin.

One good thing about being out of the corporate world, was that I was able to ditch the stifling ties and button downs.

My hard-earned ink could finally breathe.

Years spent on the street, or pretty close to it, had left my biceps, back and chest covered with colorful designs.

I wore my heart on my sleeve…literally.

My heart, my soul, my hope and dreams were all spelled out for anyone willing to just look.

I had caught Bella sneaking peeks at my tats over the last six months, but she had never ventured close enough to really _see_ my work.

I wanted her to see.

I wanted her to see me.

"Here…take this."

I looked up in time to catch the sawed-off shotgun Carlisle tossed my way.

"Are we really going to hunt beavers with a fucking shogun?" I gaped, resting the barrel of the gun against my shoulder.

"Unless you wanna wrestle the fucker…I suggest you load that thing and follow me," he said ominous, before he disappeared into the thick brush.

* * *

**Boy, I bet Edward's wishing he had just called the Dept. of Conservation & Natural Resources Management above that beaver dam, now...huh jansails?**

**I am learning SO much from you guys! I'm trying very hard to work everything in, but forgive me if I blow it.**

**I'm also trying very hard to get some more chapters done so that I can start posting daily. But right now life is throwing a ton at me. I'm trying...**

**See you Friday!**


	7. Chapter 7

I followed Carlisle's fumbling steps into the bayou.

The man could drink like a fish, but even he was stumbling after thirteen beers.

Made me nervous he was carrying a loaded weapon.

The bugs were as thick as the humidity as we waded through the shallow waters, searching for signs of beavers.

"There," he whispered, pointing the barrel of his gun toward a pile of logs.

I would have passed right the fuck by it.

The gun wobbled in my grip as I swung the weapon up, training it on the innocent heap of wood.

"How much wood could a beaver stack before it stops my waters flow?" Carlisle whispered in a frighteningly calm voice.

I turned my head to look at him seconds before a blast exploded out of the muzzle of his gun.

"Holy shit, I got 'em! Roll Tide!" he shouted, his gun waving in the air as the injured animal came limping out of its dam.

Poor little bugger.

"All right, Edward, go ahead," he said as he came up behind me and nudged me forward, while I struggled to figure out why the hell he was talking about ocean currents.

Go ahead…what?

"You was always the one to skin 'em and divvy up the meat. So get to it."

I looked up at Carlisle, trying not to appear as disgusted as I felt.

"I know you ain't Edward Cullen, son. But you can trust me to keep ya secret," he said slyly, leaning down to pick up the dead rodent.

"How did you know?" I gasped, still trying to keep my breakfast down.

"You just…smell like a Yankee," he shrugged as he tossed the carcass over his shoulder and lead the way back through the brush. "That an', Edward Cullen would a never been as pussy whipped as ya is."

* * *

**No beavers were hurt during the making of this chapter.**

**Seriously guys...you NEED to sign in when leaving reviews so I can credit your awesomeness. Guest told me that 'roll tide' was an appropriate saying for when you were excited down in Alabama. **

**See you...sometime this weekend.**

**MWAH!**


	8. Chapter 8

"No, I'm serious, Carlisle. You have no idea how much is riding on us fitting in here…staying under the radar." I was a sweaty, nervous mess as I followed him out of the trees, heading back to the boat.

"I alreadh' told ya I won't rat on ya," he said, spitting a wad of dip into the murky water.

"There has to be something else that caught your attention aside from me not wanting to skin a fucking beaver," I panted, desperate to figure out what I was doing wrong.

If I were the reason Bella and I were found out…I would never forgive myself.

"Son, Edward Cullen was a legend down here. And besides that, he would ah never been caught dead in those shorts what with his scar and all."

I stopped short, my feet tangling in the wild vines that crept across the path.

"Scar?"

"Yeah…Edward tangled with a gator when he was jus' seventeen, and that damn monster took part a his lower leg off wit' those raza sharp teeth," Carlisle regaled ominously, snapping his half-rotten teeth at me. "I knew ya wasn't him the second I saws ya."

Well fuck.

I couldn't help but wonder how many other residents of Coden had caught wise to our impersonation.

* * *

**You would think the Feds would have done a better job researching ;)Damn made up Feds...Kitkat's brain really should have been more thorough...  
**

**I'm so sorry ff was fail yesterday. If you didn't know Carlisle shot that poor beaver...go read chapter seven.  
**

**See you Monday!  
**


	9. Chapter 9

"Honey, I'm home!" I shouted as I walked into our shitty little shack three hours later.

Carlisle swore on a case of beer that he was the only one who knew about the real Edward's run in with the renegade reptile.

Apparently it happened just a few months before he took off for bigger and better things, and no one really noticed that the guy never wore shorts.

I grilled Carlisle over and over again, making sure that my portrayal of Edward Cullen would pass the muster for the rest of Alabama, but he assured me I was fine.

"Naw, you look 'nough like 'im, an' he's been gone for near a decade now. Ya'll be fine."

He didn't care why we were hiding down in the Bayou, he just wanted me to know I could trust him.

And I knew I could.

Our secret was safe, but the close call had scared the shit out of me.

I needed some reassurance…and at this point, they only thing that would do that, would be to see Bella safe and sound.

The absolute silence in our house as I pushed through the screen door did not help to calm my ass down.

"Bella!"

It only took me a minute to have searched all four rooms, and then I just stood in the middle of our bedroom, covered in fear-sweat, my heart fluttering madly.

She was gone.

* * *

**Oh shit! What now? Kitkat...what haz you done?**

**See you Wednesday!**


	10. Chapter 10

**Early update? Yeah...I got some more chapters finished.**

**Okay...I LOVED your ideas for where Bella was. Seriously...beaver skinning, swamp swimming, shopping...all amazing thoughts.**

**Let's see where she REALLY is...**

* * *

I tore out of the front door and down the rickety dock.

I had no idea where I was going, but I needed to do _something._

How had they found us?

What were they doing to her?

Oh God.

If they were hurting her, I would find every one of them and beat them till they were crying for their mommas.

I skidded to a halt on the slippery wood when I saw our neighbor (and I say neighbor loosely, his house was five miles away from ours) Jazz, sitting on a four-wheeler in the middle of our gravel yard.

"Ya might wanna come wit me," he rasped, his twang tempered by the huge clump of chew he had wedged in his lower lip.

"What?" Nothing was making any sense anymore.

"My Allycat figured ya chicky needed some loosen' up. So she came and ah, kidnapped her."

My hands clenched into tight fists, and Jazz, seeing that and being the smart man he was, put his hands up in defense.

"I told her it weren't a good idea. But once she gets her mind to somethin'…well you better just get outta her way," he explained, which took some of the edge off my anger.

"Take me to her." A demand, not a request.

"Yeah…hop on," he said, gesturing behind him.

I took a deep breath as I settled into the bitch seat and braced myself against the machine, praying I wouldn't have to hold onto him as he sped away from our little shack.

* * *

**So...Allycat has her. **

**I'm sorry Y'all...for fucking up Y'all. ;)**

**Please feel free to correct any of my 'Southernisms'. I live in Pennsylvania. We say wuter instead of water and sooda instead of soda, but that's about it :)**

**See you tomorrow!  
**


	11. Chapter 11

Jazz and Allycat's house was just a larger version of our shack.

We were both situated along a tiny offshoot of the Fowl River, which meandered through the South Western most part of Alabama before it piddled off into nothing.

Dusk had fallen as we made our way across the rocky path between our houses, and as soon as the vehicle had stopped, I was on my feet and marching toward the door.

I needed to see Bella.

"Whoa now, I think I needs to warn ya a bit before y'all go in thear," Jazz said, bracing his arms wide across the doorway.

I could hear raucous laughter erupting from inside, both male and female, and I gestured for him to continue before my head exploded.

"We may a given her a nip of da 'shine."

I stood, gaping at him as my mind struggled to translate what he'd said.

"You gave her _moonshine_?" I snarled, pushing him aside so I could find my girl.

"Bella?"

My feet froze just inside the doorway.

"Edward!"

Bella stumbled from where she had been sitting between a blonde with a fantastic rack and a muscle-bound meathead, and wobbled over to me.

Her eyes were glazed over and I worried that she might have accidentally let some of our secrets spill while she was inebriated.

"Why won't you fuck me, Edward?" she whimpered, collapsing into my arms as soon as she was close enough.

The people around me started laughing and I glared at them as I hoisted Bella's uncooperative and suddenly limp form into my arms.

"I can't believe you sauced her up," I growled, glaring at Jazz.

Allycat came up from behind him, her tiny body barely visible over his shoulder.

"Well whadua think I'as gonna do? Take her down to Bucky Giles Country Stoe an' show her da sights? I'as a fixin' to get to know her better, an let me tell ya, you better give dat girl some lovin' afore I take care a her myself," Allycat slurred, curling her fingers in a crude manner.

"Yo' girl's a really horny drunk. I'ad to slap her hands away from my Em's junk twice," the blonde said, motioning toward the beefcake's…er…junk.

"She's not used to drinking, especially moonshine," I spoke up, defending her even as I felt her start to drool on my shoulder. "Jazz, I'm takin' your four-wheeler."

I didn't wait for a reply as I strode out of the house and over to the vehicle.

Once I was sure Bella was conscious enough to hold onto me, I sped back to our house.

Someone had some explaining to do.

* * *

**Guys! Your Southernisms help was EPIC! I'm trying very hard to work them all in. Got stories to share...send them my way. Thanks to RobsmyYummy for her Bucky Giles Country Stoe story, apparently Bucky actually had the word Stoe on the side of the building. Serious balls right there...**

**Tomorrow? Yeah...probably.  
**


	12. Chapter 12

"Hmmm, that shit thay gave me to drink was fabulous." I rolled my eyes as Bella purred in my ear, her arms squeezing my waist tighter as we raced through the trees.

"That _shit _they gave you was moonshine, and you might not think it was fabulous when your brain tries to escape the pounding in your head by squeezing out of your ears tomorrow morning," I growled, hating the thought of her in pain.

I pulled in right next to the door, knowing Bella probably won't be very cooperative as I tried to get her into the house.

And I was correct.

"But I wanna go for another ride," she whined, pushing me away as I tried to hoist her up into my arms.

"You're going into the house and getting in the shower. You fucking stink. What the hell did they do to you?" I bitched as I used my foot to pry open the screen door and walked straight into the bathroom.

"Rosie wanted to try an' give me a makeover so I could nail you," she sighed, watching from where I had placed her on the closed toilet seat.

Now in the light, I could see that her face was caked in makeup, the colors all wrong for her perfectly pale skin.

Hot pink and vivid blue covered her eyes and her lips were painted a bright red.

She looked fake, and I hated it.

"Get in the shower," I demanded, reaching into the stall and twisting the squeaky handle so the hot water came out full blast.

"Are you gonna come in with me?" she cooed, fluttering lashes so weighed down with mascara they stuck together.

"What the fuck, Bella? You ignore me and berate me for _months_! You knew I wanted you, even back in Chicago, I wanted you. So what the hell has changed? Why are you throwing yourself at me now? Because if it's the moonshine talking, and tomorrow you go back to being a frigid bitch, I'm gonna scream," I snarled, my hands clenched into fists, fighting the urge to take what she was so generously offering.

But then she looked up at me, tears making a mess of her makeup.

"I'm sorry. I'm just…you have been the only stable thing in my life for the last three years. You're there with a smile for me every morning, no matter how badly I treat you. And now that we're stuck here together, it is too hard for me to resist you," she whispered, the last word fading into nothing in the humidity of the bathroom.

"So are you just looking for a quick fuck? Something to take your mind off the fact that we could be found out any minute?" I snarled, closing the distance between us and standing between her spread thighs.

"No," she whimpered, her hands trembling as she reached for me, her fingers wrapping around my hips and pulling me closer. "I want everything with you."

I was shaking as I reached for her, holding her delicate jaw between my palms.

"Are you sure? Because once I kiss you, you're mine," I breathed, loving the flush that covered her cheeks.

"I'm sure. Kiss me."

* * *

**Oh hell yeah! Kiss her, Edward!**

**So...recap...Edward (Anthony) worked as Bella's (Marie's) executive assistant for three years before they were put into Witness Protection 6 months ago. So they have known each other for three and a half years, living together for six months.  
**

**I don't think they are rushing things...do you?  
**

**See you tomorrow!  
**


	13. Chapter 13

I bent down slowly, watching as her eyes drifted shut and she pursued her lips, waiting for my kiss.

I wouldn't make her wait long.

The first taste of her changed everything.

My world tilted as I licked and nipped at her lips, needing to get inside.

A moan broke free from her as she opened for me.

My tongue surged inside, exploring the line of her teeth and tangling with the sweetness of her tongue.

I pulled her to her feet, my hands rougher than I wanted, but unable to temper my motions.

Her nails slid under the bottom of my thin wife-beater, searching for my skin.

And I was suddenly desperate for her touch.

I pulled away, reaching behind me with one hand and grabbed a handful of my shirt, yanking it over my head and throwing it to the floor.

Bella wasted no time as she reached forward, her little fingers running over my ink.

Seeing her delicate digits trace my past, the proof of the pain and struggles I had endured, made me want her even more.

If I didn't get inside her soon, I might go crazy.

I reached up and split the neck of her shirt in two, the sound of the fabric splitting even louder than the shower.

Bella's eyes flashed wide and met mine.

I kept my gaze on her, fighting against the urge to look at what I'd uncovered.

"Edward?" she questioned, her fingers digging into my sides painfully.

"I want you, you know I do. There is nothing I want more than to take you in my arms, in our bed, and make you scream my name. But first I want you to wash all that shit off your face," I whispered as I gently eased the ruined fabric from her arms.

My fingers inched below the waistband of her shorts and nudged them down her sleek legs.

Then…she was bare.

I pushed her backward, helping her into the shower stall and only then did I allow myself to look at her.

The water rushed over her, taking the layer of makeup with it.

That blonde hair of hers got darker as the water saturated it, making her look a little herself and not the pale imitation I'd been living with for the last six months.

"Edward," she whispered, a tremor running through her voice as she reached an equally shaky hand out to me, beckoning me forward.

I took what she was offering without hesitation.

* * *

**And...I'm leaving you there for the weekend. I know...I'm a bitch. Let us remember a very important fic rule: No matter what, even if the character has just vomited or imbibed moonshine, their breath is always sweet and minty. :)  
**

**See You MONDAY!**


	14. Chapter 14

The thick cargo shorts I was wearing didn't do much to hide my erection as I walked into the shower stall with Bella.

My fingers were trembling as I used my thumbs to wipe away the rest of the makeup that had been covering her true beauty.

"That's better. There's the girl I love," I whispered, not even realizing what I'd said until she looked up at me, her nails digging into my arms.

"You love me?" she gasped, tears melding with the water and streaming down her face.

Fuck…should have just kept my mouth shut.

Back home in Chicago I had been witness to Bella, aka, Marie, go through men like they were tissues.

At the first hint of any true feelings she would cut them loose like fish on a line.

Marie didn't _do_ feelings.

But maybe Bella did.

"Of course I love you, pretty girl. How could I not? Even though it risked your life, and in turn mine, you refused to let innocent people die. The fact that you're hot as fuck doesn't hurt either," I said, wiggling my eyebrows at her to try and lighten the mood.

"How can you love someone who put your life in danger? I've been nothing but nasty to you from the moment you walked into my office. And do you know why I did that? Why I ignored you and paraded men in front of you? It was because I wanted you. I wanted your sweet green eyes to look at me like I was actually something to be treasured. My parents never even looked at me that way. But I knew you would. I knew being loved and cherished by you would change my life," she rambled, the moonshine helping to loosen her lips.

I knew she would be upset with herself come morning, but I would remind her that this was for the best.

Now that I knew how she really felt…there was no way I would let her go.

* * *

**Aww! He loves her. And she wants him. And moonshine is apparently truth serum...but I wouldn't recommend drinking it. Cleaning your shotguns...yeah. But not drinking ;)**

**Tomorrow!  
**


	15. Chapter 15

"You were always so mean to me," Bella whined, all of the pieces of our previous lives coming together, a hint of a smile spreading across her lips. I held back a snort as I reasoned out my reply.

"Haven't you ever heard that a guy is always mean to the girl he loves?" I sighed, running my fingers over her soft cheeks. Her snort was loud as she cocked her hands on her hips and glared up at me.

"I thought that was just something mothers told their ugly daughters so they didn't feel bad," she said with a laugh, looking up at me through her water-darkened lashes.

"Maybe that's true for some people, but not for me. Now, do you have any idea the things I want to do to you?" I rasped, watching as the humor and lingering sadness disappeared from those big brown eyes of hers and lust took their place.

"Will you show me?" she pleaded, her fingers moving up over my chest and grabbing tightly to my shoulders.

I nodded as I reached over and shut off the water, our loud breathing the only sound in the small stall.

My fingers clasped onto her supple ass as I hoisted her up into my arms.

Her nipples, so hard from both the chill of the water and her arousal, pressed against my bare chest.

I didn't care that we were dripping water everywhere; I needed to get her to a bed…now.

Bella's plush lips pressed against the corded muscles running down my neck, her teeth sinking in and leaving me breathless.

"You keep doing that and I'll end up taking you against the wall," I snarled, loving the gasp of both pleasure and surprise that puffed against my skin.

"Shit, Edward…it's…I mean…there hasn't been anyone for a really long time," she whispered as she buried her face in my shoulder.

I could feel the heat from her blush and knew just how hard it had been for her to admit that to me.

"I haven't been with anyone since the day I walked into your office," I replied, needing her to know that I had been hers from the moment I met her.

"Really? But what about all those girls that would come and meet you for lunch? And the women you brought to corporate events?" she asked, jealousy creeping into her tone.

I couldn't hold back my smirk as I answered her. "They were all friends. What about _your_ hoard of admirers? Are you going to tell me that you never let them touch you?"

She pulled her face out of its hiding spot just as my knees hit the edge of the bed.

"It's you, Anthony. It's always been you."

Hearing her say my name, my _real_ name, left me struggling to hold back tears.

"No…Anthony Masen is gone. I'm Edward Cullen now, and I'm about to show my _wife_ just how much I love her."

* * *

**I'm like...the queen of the cockblock! **

**Someone will get a release next chapter...  
**

**Tomorrow!  
**


	16. Chapter 16

I set Bella down on the mattress, moving slowly, savoring every single moment.

I knew I wouldn't make love to her, not with how vague and lost she was still under the effects of the moonshine, but I wasn't going to pass up the opportunity to show her just how much I wanted her.

Kneeling down at the foot of the bed, I watched as she bent her knees but kept her thighs pressed together, hiding her secrets from me.

My cargo shorts were soaking wet, dripping onto the worn wood beneath me, but right then I didn't care about anything except getting my hands and fingers and mouth on Bella.

"Show me," I whispered harshly, my patience and control running low. A shudder ran through her as she slowly let her thighs fall to the side. "Jesus fuck, Bella, you're exquisite."

She moaned low and loud when I trailed my finger over the delicate bones of her ankle and grabbed onto her calf, yanking her down toward me. Placing both her legs over my shoulders, I bent down and prepared to worship at the altar of her body. I knew after I tasted her, everything would change. There was no way we could go back to the stilted awkwardness we'd lived in before.

"Are you ready?" I growled as I rubbed my nose along the crease of her thigh. She smelled so good, like honey and salt and perfection.

"Yes," she sighed, reaching down and threading her fingers through my hair as she arched her body toward me, a shameless invitation I accepted.

The first hint of her essence on my tongue was a revelation. How had I lived for twenty six years without knowing her taste? Without feeling her silky skin against my face? Without hearing her call my name as she came…after _I_ made her come?

All I knew as I felt her little body fall apart in my arms was…

There was no way I would live without her.

* * *

**See...someone got a release!**

**Did you really think I'd have their first time be while she's drunk?  
**

**I'm better than that...at least I hope I am.  
**

**So I cockblocked but didn't pussyblock...you gotta give me some props for that!  
**

**Tomorrow!  
**


	17. Chapter 17

The sun warmed my skin as it peeked through the windows. I came awake slowly, trying to figure out why I was on the bed and not the thin pallet of blankets I had been used to.

The answer came to me like a flash of lightning.

Bella.

Last night had been beyond anything I could have imagined.

She had fallen apart in my arms and proceeded to curl up next to me and drift off to sleep. I had been hard and aching, her warm breath against my bare skin and our legs tangled together making my cock weep, but it had been worth it.

"Oh, my head." I turned toward her grumbling voice and couldn't help but smile as I saw Bella's unhappy face.

"Not feeling so good today, sweetheart?" I asked, making sure to keep my voice quiet. I was unable to keep the biting sarcasm from making an appearance, though.

If I wasn't so nervous about her reaction, I would have laughed at the way she froze. Every part of her just locked up as if her brain was relaying last night's events to her and she was unable to move as she processed the information.

"Please don't ever let me drink moonshine again," she whispered, turning away from me and hiding her face in the pillow.

Oh shit…what the hell does that mean? Does she regret what we did? What she said?

Does she even remember my confession of love?

"Bella?" I rasped, trying to come up with a way to lay everything on the line without crying like a little baby.

"Shit, Edward. I'm making a mess of this," she said, rolling over to face me. Her hair was a tangled mess around her, smudges of mascara and vivid blue eye shadow still caked beneath her lashes. But Jesus, I'd never seen anything as beautiful. "I wish I had been a little more lucid last night, but I will never regret saying those words to you."

I swore my heart had stopped beating as I waited for her to speak and then exploded in my chest, joy warring with disbelief as I absorbed her words.

"Fuck, Bella, please don't tease me," I grunted, pulling her into my arms. I pushed her hair away from her face, letting me see all of her.

"Edward Cullen…Anthony Masen…whoever you are, I love you. It's you…it's always been you," she whispered as tears ran down her cheeks.

"Shit, Bella...Marie, I love you, too."

I bent down, not caring that her mouth probably tasted like dead beaver, but just as my lips pressed against hers, I heard a loud bang outside.

"Fuck, stay here," I snapped, reaching down and covering her with the sheet as I grabbed for the shorts I had discarded in the middle of the night.

Someone was going to pay for ruining our moment.

* * *

**COCKBLOCK!**

**I'm gonna see just how long I can make him wait!  
**

**LadyV said his balls have gone past Smurf and have entered the eggplant zone. I'm striving for black before I let him get some :)  
**

**Sorry...but look...I'm doing daily updates now. So that's a win!  
**

**Tomorrow!  
**


	18. Chapter 18

"Good morning!"

I sighed when I saw the two men standing on my porch.

"What do you want?" I spat, my mind and cock already back with Bella in our bed.

"We just needed to stop by and check on everything," Agent Biers said, pulling his ball cap down over his face.

Like anyone with a brain wouldn't recognize them for the feds they were.

"Everything copacetic?" Agent Banner asked, glaring down at his flip flop clad feet.

I knew they hated coming down here, because they were required to 'dress the part' so as not to arouse suspicion.

As if the dude's pasty white feet wouldn't turn some heads.

"Yeah, no. We're fine…all good. Well except I was made by Carlisle Platt, but he said he wouldn't say anything. Especially after I told him the reason we were down here," I said in a rush, trying to do anything to get them the fuck outta there so I could get back to my girl.

"Excuse me? Did I hear you right? You told someone?" Biers gasped, holding his chest like he was about to succumb to a case of the vapors.

"He knew I wasn't Edward Cullen, so I had to tell him something. Turns out, his cousin up north in Boston died after his doctor prescribed him Lexamore, so he was more than happy to keep our secret. I'm telling you, the people down here are loyal and trustworthy. If push came to shove, I'd rather have Carlisle covering my back than you two," I admitted, thinking of the way he handled that shot gun, even as drunk as he was.

"I'll have to report this to our supervisor," Banner sighed, reaching into his pocket for his fancy cell phone.

I reached forward and snapped the thing out of his hand before he could dial.

"No way, you are not moving us. We're staying here," I demanded. I reached my arm back and let the phone fly, watching as it sailed through the air and landed in the water with a plop.

"Jesus Christ, Masen. Do you have any idea how much that thing cost?" Banner bitched. He looked like he was ready to cry.

"That's not my name. I'm Edward Cullen. Now..if you gentlemen will excuse me, I have to go bang the hell outta my wife," I said, turning around and walking through the broken screen door without looking back.

* * *

**So...we meet the feds. And they are pissed E let the secret out. Lexamore? Hmmm...wonder what the drug was supposed to do. We know it killed people.**

**See you on Monday...unless I get bored over the weekend :)**


	19. Chapter 19

"You know they can move us without our consent. When we agreed to testify, we put our lives and our future in their hands," Bella said quietly, having heard the entire conversation through the thin walls and plexiglass windows of our shack.

I was pacing around the little bedroom, trying to get my anger under control before I would allow myself to get back in bed with my woman.

She was still naked under the threadbare sheet, the rosy tips of her nipples poking through the fabric and making me hard.

Shit, she could probably sneeze and make me hard.

"We're finally settled in down here. We have friends I trust and I don't want to leave," I whined, stomping my foot like a child. But seriously, I had put my life in Carlisle's drunk, white trash hands and I knew he would protect it.

"Baby, why don't you come over here and let me make you feel better," Bella cooed, lifting the edge of the sheet so I could see the long, lean line of her leg.

Mouthwatering.

"Stop trying to distract me with your feminine wiles!" I shouted. "This is serious shit! And I refuse to make love to you when I'm so pissed. When I take you, it will be beautiful and classy."

"And how are you going to pull off classy in a dump like this?" she spat, gesturing toward the worn panel walls and dirty floor.

"Hey princess, at least we have a roof. Sleeping in the rain is fucking tragic," I threw back and then instantly regretted it. Tears and pain instantly clouded her eyes, making me feel like shit.

She knew very little about my life before I started at Swan Pharmaceuticals, and what I had told her was the PC, rated M for mature version not the NC-17 reality.

She didn't know I had lived on the streets for nearly a year after my foster father had 'accidentally' followed me into the bathroom.

She didn't know I had lied on my application to college, claiming I had graduated high school when I hadn't set foot in a school since seventh grade.

And she didn't know how close I'd come to whoring myself out on the street just so I could eat.

But she knew enough to realize I had to have had it pretty bad to think _this_ was classy.

"Edward…" she started, sitting up and letting the sheet fall to her waist. I was motionless for a moment as I took in her beauty. Jesus fuck, those tits were too perfect to be real; just the right size, nipples peaked and ready for my mouth.

"Bella, unless you want to be fucked senseless in T-minus ten seconds, I suggest that you cover yourself," I snarled, my poor, abused cock pressing harshly against my cargos.

"What if I want to be fucked senseless?" she responded, slowly pushing aside the sheet and kneeling before me in all her glory.

Holy…shit.

* * *

**Um...I can't remember if the fucking senseless happens now or not. I think not. I think they talk a bit more. Stupid talking.**

**I got bored...**


	20. Chapter 20

"Do you know I asked Agent Biers about our fake marriage and he told me that it _wasn't_ fake? In the eyes of the great state of Alabama, Edward and Bella Cullen _are_ married. Biers told me that once everything was settled and we went back to our regular lives, we would get an annulment since the marriage wouldn't have been consummated. Well, Edward, I don't want an annulment. And I don't think I want to go back to our old lives, either. As much as I hate it here, with the bugs and the heat and the God-awful smell, I love being with you more. So please, don't make me beg, come over here and make love to your wife," she said, tears pooling in her big brown eyes.

As if her gloriously naked body wasn't enough of a temptation, her words gutted me.

"Are you sure? Because once we do this, everything will change. If we get outta here, I can't go back to being your assistant," I warned, slowly walking toward her.

"I'm sure," she whispered, licking her lips as my hands went to the button of my shorts.

"If we go back, I won't be able to give you the life you've been accustom to. This shack is bigger than my apartment back in Chicago. Are you sure you're ready for that?" I asked, my voice getting deeper as I watched the sheen of arousal spread down her thighs.

"Edward…I don't care if we stay down here and I have to learn to skin beavers, just please…make love to me," she sighed, her eyes flaring wide as I pushed my shorts down my thighs and my erection popped free.

Standing before her in nothing but my skin, my colorful ink only adding to my nakedness, I had never felt more comfortable.

This girl had given up everything to do what was right.

Now she was offering to do the same for me.

Overwhelmed was too inadequate a word.

Crawling toward me on her knees, Bella's eyes were glazed with tears.

I grabbed her shoulders as soon as she was close enough, bringing her into my arms and feeling our skin meet for the first time.

"I love you, Edward Cullen," she sighed against my throat.

I opened my mouth to repeat the words back to her when I heard the scrape of boots on the floor behind me.

"Bitch…you better get away from my husband."

* * *

**HA! I totally forgot about that! Oops!**

**I'm bored...and slightly inebriated. You MIGHT be able to get another one out of me (especially if Cara updates again)  
**

**Poor Cockblockward!  
**


	21. Chapter 21

**Giggles! Cara updated like...seven minutes after I issued my challange...not that she's reading this...don't think she is. But anyway...as ohtobeyoung said...a promise is a promise. **

* * *

I jerked my head around, making sure that I kept Bella covered with my body.

In the open doorway of our bedroom, a woman stood with her arms crossed over her barely covered tits and a whole lot of pissed off on her face.

"Is that anyway to greet your wife, Edward? Come over here and let me see you," she cooed, her voice scratchy from what I assumed was too many years of cigarette smoke.

"Um," I mumbled, trying to buy myself some time to figure out what the fuck to do.

The sound of the front screen door slamming closed was a welcome interruption, as was Carlisle's loud voice.

"Tanya, you git ya ass ova' here!" he bellowed and I released a sigh as, with one last look at my bare ass, the woman headed out into the living room.

"What the fuck was that?" Bella screeched, poking me in the chest with her pointy little finger. "I'm already living 'Duck Dynasty,' I refuse to be a 'Sister Wife' too!"

"Jesus, Bella, calm down! I have no idea who the hell that is. So slow your roll and just let me deal with this," I sighed, reaching for my shorts once more.

I tried not to look at my poor, neglected cock as I shoved him back inside the canvas prison.

"Get dressed," I hissed, throwing some jeans and a tank top at her.

"I shoulda' let Allycat get me off last night, like she wanted to," Bella said under her breath, just loud enough for me to hear.

I spun around, grabbing her gently around the throat and pulled her to me.

"No one touches you but me, understand?" I whispered, loving the way her eyes flared with lust.

She nodded and licked her lips, making me moan.

Maybe we had time for just a little snack.

I reached down and swept her into my arms, laying her down on the bed so her legs were hanging off the edge.

Dropping to my knees, I slid her legs apart and buried my face between her thighs.

"Fuck!" she cried out as my lips and teeth attacked her.

She was so wet; dripping down my chin and onto my bare chest.

I snarled into her pussy as she grabbed my hair, which only seemed to get her closer to her peak.

I knew Carlisle and the mystery woman could hear both the slippery noises of my mouth and Bella's cries of ecstasy, but I couldn't be bothered to care as Bella came all over my face.

Panting quietly, I laid my head on Bella's thigh, enjoying the peace that emanated from her now that she was spent.

"Well, I reckon you is right, Carlisle. No way that is _my_ Edward. He couldn't find a clit with two hands an a map."

I started to laugh as Tanya's nasally voice drifted through the walls, followed by another slam of the screen door.

Footsteps came down the hall a bit and then Carlisle's deep drawl echoed off the walls.

"Y'all good, son. She's dumber 'an dirt, so it's easy enough to convince her there's another Edward Cullen livin' down heah. You get back to dirtyin' up your girl."

* * *

Bah! Can you just imagine? I can't!

I'm pretty sure there are no more interruptions and tomorrow after I get back from my run, Edward 'Black Balls' Cullen will get some lovin'!

MWAH!


	22. Chapter 22

"You better get up here and shove that monster cock in me before we get interrupted again," Bella whispered as the door slammed once more, signaling Carlisle's departure.

I turned my head and nipped at her thigh, holding her tightly when she squealed and tried to buck me off her.

"I really wanted it to be special," I whined, looking up the bare line of her body and meeting her eyes.

"It will be special, Edward. It will be special because it's us," she said, reaching her hand down and threading her fingers through mine.

Using one hand and some very talented toes, I once more removed my shorts.

Keeping our hands clasped together next to her head, I balanced on my elbows as I slid my leaking and desperate cock through her wetness.

"It's been a long time for me," I rasped, already knowing I would embarrass myself by coming quick.

"Please," Bella cried breathlessly as I hit her clit with the head of my cock.

Pulling my hips back, I moved down until I was poised at her entrance and stopped.

"Look at me," I ordered, waiting until her sweet, brown eyes met mine. "I love you."

My eyes slipped shut of their own accord as I thrust inside her.

She was hot and wet and so damn tight, I was forced to bite my tongue to keep from coming on the spot.

"Edward!" she cried, her fingers blanching white as they squeezed mine tightly.

I bent down and pressed my lips to hers, not kissing, just needing to feel close to her.

I was worried I would float away as the perfection of the moment overwhelmed me.

"You're mine," I rasped, opening my eyes and meeting her dazed stare.

"Yes…oh God, Edward. It's so good," she whimpered, her legs wrapping around my hips as she met me thrust for thrust.

"Gonna come," I warned, feeling my legs and back start to tingle.

Sealing my lips to hers, I let myself go, loving the way her body went ridged beneath mine.

Collapsing to my side and bringing Bella with me, I felt a kind of peace I had never known.

After twenty-six years of being alone…I'd finally found a home.

* * *

**FINALLY! Jebus...that poor guy!**

**And sweetness at the end. He is so cute.**

**So yeah...apparently Cara is reading...now. :)  
**

**I'm probably not going to be in good form for a run tomorrow after my...er...fifth beer...but whateves.  
**

**Now...tomorrow.  
**


	23. Chapter 23

"You really should go over to Allycat's and thank her. Who knows how long it might have taken me to tell you my real feelings without the help of that moonshine," Bella whispered against my throat.

It had been eight glorious days since the 'moonshine incident' and I had yet to allow Bella to move more than three feet from me at all times.

We had _years_ of sexual tension to make up for.

But now it seemed that she was bored with my lovemaking and wanted to see actual human beings again.

Imagine that.

So I finally allowed her to get dressed and we headed out on Jazz's four-wheeler toward their shack.

"Hmmmm…you're so hot when you're behind the wheel of a kids toy," Bella purred in my ear.

"Ha ha, really funny. Let's see whose laughing when I pop a wheely on this sumbitch," I growled, listening to her squeal as I revved the engine and pulled up on the handlebars.

I slowed down when I saw Jazz and Carlisle standing in the middle of the path up ahead.

"What's doing, boys?" I called, pulling in next to where they were looking down at something.

"I see he done finally let ya out of his bed, huh sugar?" Jazz cooed at Bella, and I just barely managed to resist punching him in his face.

"Whatcha looking at?" Bella asked, ignoring Jazz as she stood on the side rails and looked over my shoulder at what lay on the ground.

"We was just tryin' ta figure if this deer was still fresh enough ta eat," Carlisle said, poking the deer carcass with a stick.

"I'd say no, judging from the flies buzzing around it," Bella choked, sitting back down and burying her face in my back.

"Nah, I think it'll be fine if in we just cut that piece off," Jazz said, walking over to his truck and grabbing a shovel out of the back.

Note to self…never eat at Jazz's house.

"The girls and Em are ova' at the house, if you wanna head thata way," Carlisle suggested.

With the way Bella was gagging behind me, I figured it would be a good idea to get her out of there before Jazz started moving the dead deer.

"We'll see you there," I said, leaving them in a plume of dust and gravel.

"That was so gross," Bella yelled once we were out of earshot.

"Hey, you wanted to stay down here and not head to California or someplace nice. So suck it up and get ready to eat some _really_ dead meat!"

* * *

**Oh lord! Who let me post so many chapters last night?**

**Damn Bud Light Lime.**

**Anyway...I still managed to get my ass up and run this morning, so yeah me.**

**See you Monday for some more Southern Hospitality :)**


	24. Chapter 24

"So did he take ya as soon as he got ya home? Did he tie ya up? I bet he did, he looks the type."

I ignored the obnoxious chatter from the woman as they tried to get intimate details out of Bella.

The four of them were in the kitchen, a huge mason jar of sweet tea between them as they whispered quietly.

"Well…did ya tie her up?"

I looked across the little living room and glared at Em.

He was sitting in a recliner that had seen better days, his huge arms bent up so his chin rested in his palms, his bald head reflecting the light coming through the window.

Well…his nearly bald head.

The dude had a stripe of hair running from the nape of his neck up to the top of his head.

It looked like some sort of tail growing out of his skull.

"I'm not gonna answer that," I growled, praying he was smart enough to let sleeping dogs lie.

"I reckon ya did. I bet ya had to ta keep her where ya wanted her. Feisty little filly she is," Em drawled, winking at me.

Was he coming on to me or making inappropriate comments about my girl?

Either way I didn't like it.

"Em, you stop buggin' Edward. You randy bastard," Esme scolded as she handed me a jar of sweet tea. "This good for ya, sweetie or do ya want some coke?"

"This is fine, Esme. Thanks," I replied, trying to hide my grimace at the overly sweet taste of the tea.

The rest of the girls came in from the kitchen, Rose plopping down on Em's lap while Bella sat on the arm of the couch next to me, leaning against my side.

I could hear Jazz and Carlisle coming up the steps and as I listened to everyone's comfortable chatter I realized that somehow we had found true friends and a real home somewhere I'd never thought.

* * *

**Giggles...I love fucking with these characters.  
**

**This will most likely wrap up around chapter 45 or so...just so you know.  
**

**Tomorrow!  
**


	25. Chapter 25

Three months had passed since Bella and I acknowledged our feelings and acted on them.

Now, every night was like a porno at our little shack on the bayou.

My girl was insatiable.

I was pretty sure most of the wildlife had up and left, since we were making such a racket all night long., but who was I to say no when she came at me with those long ass legs and those sweet little titties.

Our new friends have really helped make our days more exciting as well.

I headed out with Jazz and Carlisle most mornings to make sure the water was flowing and the beavers weren't getting too close to the river with their damn dams.

And Bella had grown content to spend her days lazing around with the girls and Em.

Not sure why Em always stayed with the girls, but I wasn't asking questions.

Dude might be a girl trapped in a man's body for all I know.

Afternoons were for fishing, duck hunting, and the occasional road kill scrape off the side of the road.

Then it was sweet tea, beer and an amazing supper of whatever we caught that day.

Wasn't sure I ever wanted to leave.

"More tea, Sweet Pea?" I asked, whispering into Bella's ear as I held the Mason jar over her empty glass.

After being apart most of the day, the promise of some dirty nasty lovin' was crystal clear as she looked up at me, nodding her head.

"So Edward, when you gonna tell us all bout those tats you done got?" Em asked as he shoveled a mouthful of cheese grits into his mouth.

I grimaced as I sat back in my chair and looked around at the sea of interested faces around me, including Bella.

While I had shared many things about my past with her, I had yet to explain the importance of my tattoos.

"How about we talk about why you never come out and play with the boys, Em," I said, unable to sputter out a fake story about my ink.

Em smiled widely and pointed at Carlisle.

"That mudderfucker won't let me go after I shot him wid dat pellet gun last year," he joked, or at least I thought he was joking.

The serious look on Carlisle's face confirmed that Em's story was true.

"If ya can't aim a fucking pellet gun, why'd ya think I'd let ya out with a shotgun?" Carlisle growled, pointing one dirty finger toward Em like a gun.

The girls laughed wildly at Carlisle's story, while Jazz and I just shook our heads.

Seriously…

"We ought to be heading home," I suggested, yawning exaggeratedly, which earned me a smack on the chest from Bella.

"Y'all be safe on the walk home," Esme called as we walked out into the slowly darkening night, hands clasped tightly together.

"Will you tell _me_ about your tattoos?" Bella asked softly, her shoulder brushing mine, our footsteps and the cicadas the only sound.

"I'll give you the grand tour after we get back to the shack," I replied, ready to share all of me with her.

It was past time that I told her everything.

I just hoped my spoiled princess could live with a prince that had such a rough past.

* * *

**Aw...you know she will, Edward!**

**See you tomorrow for more!  
**


	26. Chapter 26

**Remember...you love me.**

* * *

The rest of the walk back home was close to perfect.

Bella's head rested against my chest as we walked, our bodies pressed together from thigh to shoulder.

Her hand on the small of my back felt safe and comforting, while mine was wrapped protectively around her shoulder.

I followed her contented hum with a deep sigh of my own.

"I have something to show you when we get home," Bella whispered, her lips ghosting across my throat.

"Oh yeah? Is it those new panties you got in the mail? I knew you kept your Victoria's Secret credit card hidden when they brought us down here," I teased, avoiding her hand as she smacked at me.

Life was amazing.

…

…

…

And then it wasn't.

The peaceful night was suddenly illuminated by a large spotlight.

I froze for a second before my instincts kicked in and I dove for the brush along the side of the path, dragging a protesting Bella with me.

We landed hard, but I kept moving, crawling on my hands and knees, keeping Bella in front of me.

But it was useless.

We'd been spotted.

At this point, I didn't know who was after us, but I wasn't taking any chances.

"Come out, Ms. Swan. We know it's you."

The booming voice echoed through the bayou, making the hair on the back of my neck stand at attention.

They'd found us.

Volturi had found us.

* * *

**Oh shit.**

**Remember...Volturi was the drug company whose drug was killing people. Bella and Edward (Marie and Anthony) were going to testify against them...which is how they got into Witness Protection in the first place.  
**

**I know...it's hard to remember with all the dead beavers and cockblocking.  
**

**MWAH!  
**

**Tomorrow!  
**


	27. Chapter 27

I fought.

I fought hard against the hands that restrained me.

I listened to Bella's screams and fought harder.

I threw punches and bit and kicked until I felt a sharp pain in my arm and everything went black.

They'd drugged me.

Bastards.

I came back to consciousness slowly, like an ancient computer struggling to boot up.

I was sitting on a chair, my chin resting against my chest, my arms tied together behind me.

Their first mistake was not tying my legs to the chair.

"Wakey, wakey, Mr. Masen. We've been waiting for you."

I slowly raised my head, trying not to cringe as pain shot down my spine.

We were in the middle of a cavernous warehouse, the rusted metal walls and dirty cement floor a dead giveaway.

He was sitting casually on an aluminum folding chair.

"Where's Bella?" I asked, my voice coming out all gravel and hate.

"Oh, you must mean Marie. We have her somewhere safe until we're sure she won't testify. After that…who knows," he laughed.

Second mistake…threatening my girl.

"You won't get away with this," I spat, glaring at him and biding my time.

He pushed up to a stand, sending the chair skidding across the cement floor.

I could tell I had struck a nerve with my words and as his fist came at me, I smirked.

Pain exploded across my face, but I could suck a punch back like a pro after my years in foster care.

I glared up at him, spitting blood out onto the floor.

"Your third mistake…was getting this close to me," I growled, watching confusion spread across his face, but by then it was too late.

I kicked out, wrapping my legs around his and twisting, taking him down to the ground.

Moving quickly, I pushed to my feet, taking the chair with me and jumped up, twisting in the air and landing on his body hard.

I heard a snap but wasn't sure if it was the chair breaking…or one of his bones.

When I pulled at my arms, the ropes gave way and I realized the chair had split like a leotard on a fat guy…and I was free.

Spinning around, I nailed my captor with my forearm across his throat and straddled his hips, holding him down.

"Now…I'm pretty sure I asked where Bella was."

* * *

**Holy action! As I wrap up my fic career, I wanted to try and do some things I had never done. I had never really done an action Edward...so here he is!**

**Now...where is Bella?  
**

**Tomorrow...  
**


	28. Chapter 28

"How the fuck?" he rasped, but I pushed harder on his trachea, enjoying the whistling sound as he struggled to breathe.

"I asked where my girl was," I snarled, blood dripping from the cut on my lip and onto his face.

"They have her in the back. This was just supposed to be a quick job, man. Scare you and make sure you wouldn't testify and then get paid. I'm not a bad guy!" he squealed like a pig.

I glared down at him.

"You're not a bad guy? You took my girl. You drugged me. You hit me. Sounds to me like you're a pretty fucking _bad _guy. And do you know what happens to bad guys? They end up with a bullet in their brain," I teased, bringing my free hand up and cocking it like a gun.

He squeezed his eyes shut, whimpered, and from the warmth that spread across my back, apparently peed himself too.

"You're disgusting," I sighed, reaching my arm back and clocking him in the temple, knocking him out cold.

I pushed to my feet and took off toward the only door in the place.

I just prayed that I would be able to get to Bella before they hurt her.

* * *

**AHHH! You and me both, Edward!**

**So yeah...after I finish up Derby, Fatty and this...I'm hanging up my pen. There are some days writing isn't fun anymore because I worry about getting chapters to people that need to see them and then spiffying them up to get to you guys. When it feels like work instead of an amazingly creative form of enjoyment...yeah...that's when you gotta step back.  
**

**I'll still be around doing donations and compilations. I'll just be on the real down low.  
**

**Plus I'm still writing this...so it may be December before I'm done ;)  
**


	29. Chapter 29

I made sure my steps were silent as I got closer to the door.

The lights were off, making it even harder for me to see where I was going.

I wrapped my hand around the cool metal of the doorknob, praying that it would open silently.

I never got a chance to find out.

A wide palm suddenly covered my mouth, my feet were kicked out from under me and then I was slammed face down on the ground.

I struggled against the weight on my back, but then a familiar voice hissed in my ear.

"Knock it da fuck off, ya idjit."

As I stopped moving, the weight was lifted and the hand removed from my mouth.

I turned over and met Jazz's eyes, noticing that Em and Carlisle were standing behind him.

"How?" I whispered, but Jazz just extended his hand to me and shook his head.

"Ya don't wanna know," he chuckled quietly. "They have Bella in da back."

"I know. Why do you think I was heading in there?" I spat, gesturing toward the door and ignoring the two idiots making faces behind Jazz.

"Well dat door leads to da shitter. But I guess if you'd rather go in there…" he teased, making me want to rip his nuts off.

"This isn't a joke!" I growled.

"Oh I know. Why do you think we're here?" he said, his accent gone. "You're not the only ones with secrets, Edward."

Em reached into the waist of his low-slung shorts and waved his FBI badge at me.

Carlisle just shrugged and pulled a gun from behind his back.

Okay…I guess the Calvary had arrived.

* * *

**A few of you had already guessed at that one!**

**So...Jazz and Em are Feds but Carlisle is just a good ol' fashion Alabama bad-ass along for the ride!  
**

**I can't tell you how OVERWHELMED I was at your reaction to my news yesterday. It was a ridiculously hard decision to make...but all of you understood. I doubt I will be back other than to do my donation and compilation pieces but you never know.  
**


	30. Chapter 30

Jazz led the way out of the warehouse and around to a building behind the giant structure.

So _this_ must have been where they were keeping Bella.

Em placed himself on one side of the door, while Jazz and Carlisle stood on the other.

I crept over and looked into one of the dirty windows that looked out into the bayou.

A sign above my head said that this was the old Meyer shrimp processing plant.

That explained the smell.

Making sure I stayed low, I looked into the window…and felt my heart falter in my chest.

Bella was sitting in a chair, much like I had been, expect they didn't have her tied up.

There were three guys in with her from what I could see, but it was the livid, purple bruise on her cheek and the dried tears on her face that had me clenching my fists.

No one hurt my girl.

"Eddie, come here," Carlisle ordered, waving his gun in my direction.

"Now, Jazz is gonna go round back while the three of us go in this way. Keep ya head down and just try to stay out of the way." I nodded, making sure I looked at every one of them before we went our separate ways.

For some reason, I didn't think we were all going to make it through.

* * *

**Another one? Yeah...I forgot to tell you about my girl theonlykyla. She is a fucking awesome person, an amazing mother and a talented writer. And (thanks to a tiny bit of pressure from me) has finally started the third part of her Anger Management trilogy...Angrily Ever After. Yes...you heard right...we finally get ANGERBABIES! I've been reading Kyla for like...ever. I don't have time :'( to read everything she writes but this...yeah. It's hot and sexy and just...yeah.**

**So anyway...my goal is to try and catch up with all the amazing stories and authors that I've been missing as I try to keep up with my kids and life and writing. We'll see if I'm successful!  
**

**See you tomorrow for more action!  
**


	31. Chapter 31

The whizz and buzz of gunfire was loud as we burst through the door.

I stayed as low to the ground as I could, wincing when I felt the stinging heat of a bullet grazing my calf.

I didn't even bother turning around to check the wound, my eyes were on Bella.

I crawled over to her, staying behind discarded boxes and tables as the firefight continued above me.

Shouts of pain echoed and I could only hope it was not one of my guys that got hit.

I was only a few feet from where Bella sat when silence descended.

I looked around, taking my eyes off Bella for only a second, but that was all that he needed.

One...little...second.

By the time I looked back, some douchebag was using my girl as a human shield.

"Come out, come out wherever you are."

I jumped to my feet, ignoring the searing pain in my calf.

I saw Em and Carlisle stand as well, tossing their guns down to the floor when they saw Bella had a muzzle pressed to her temple.

She looked at me, tears clouding her eyes, and I tried to reassure her with my calm expression.

That only made her cry harder.

Slowly…so very slowly, she slid her hand up her side and covered her belly with her palm, her brown eyes begging me to understand.

Holy shit.

She was pregnant.

Thinking back over the last few weeks, it all started to come together.

She always chose sweet tea over beer.

Her hips and belly had been fuller, softer, but I just assumed it was because she was relaxed down here without the pressure of having to fit into the corporate world.

And of course I should have realized she wasn't protected.

Back in Chicago, I was the one who scheduled her appointments with her GYN to get the shot, and it had been at least ten months since she saw a doctor.

I squeezed my eyes shut tightly, joy and absolute terror slithering through me like ice.

But when I opened them, I was ready to battle.

That wasn't just my wife he was holding a gun to…it was my child too.

Game on, motherfucker.

* * *

**That right there...has been on my 'must incorporate into a fic' list from the moment I started writing.**

**Game on...  
**

**Tomorrow!  
**


	32. Chapter 32

"How much did they pay you?" I asked, relieved when my voice emerged strong and loud, not low and shaky like I felt.

This douche just looked like a hired thug.

Plus I knew Volturi wouldn't be stupid enough to send their own guys to do the dirty work.

The hand he had wrapped around Bella's neck tightened slightly as I took a step forward.

"More than you can afford," he snarled. His eyes darted around, as if waiting for one of the other guys to magically rise from the dead and save him.

"You won't be able to spend that money if you're dead," I hissed.

I could see his hand shaking slightly as he stumbled backward, dragging Bella with him.

"You need to let her go," I ordered, countering his step with one of my own.

"Fuck you!" he spat, his finger slipping on the trigger.

That was it.

I lunged for his legs at the same time Jazz appeared behing him and reached for Bella.

The gun went off and my heart stopped.

As I took him down to the ground, I couldn't bring myself to look to my left to see if Bella was okay.

If she wasn't…

Rage exploded through me as I straddled him, holding him down.

"You bastard!" I screamed, my fists pounding into his face.

It wasn't until I felt a searing pain in my side that I realized what had happened.

Bella was fine.

I was the one who'd been shot.

* * *

**Oh snap! **

**I get to work this morning and discover...no WiFi :(**

**Thank goodness for my iPhone ;)**

**BUT...it means I can't upload the next chapter and give it to you early like I was gonna do. But tomorrow is coming fast!**

**Mwah!**


	33. Chapter 33

"Edward!"

Strong hands shifted me down to the dirty cement floor as pain surged through me, making it difficult to breathe.

"Carlisle, go get the girls. See if Ally has anything on her to stop the bleeding."

"Should we call Biers?"

"No. He'll just want to move them. We'll have to take care of them now."

I drifted in and out of consciousness, snippets of conversations breaking through the suffocating darkness.

"Edward, baby, I need you to wake up."

After what felt like hours trapped in complete nothingness, Bella's voice had me reaching for the light.

Her hand was on my arm, the warm pressure soothing as I struggled against the pain.

"There you are," she sighed as I finally was able to blink my eyes open.

Her hair was feathered around her face, tears and blood smeared on her cheeks.

To me, she had never looked more beautiful.

"Hey," I rasped, wincing at the agony that spread down my side as I took a breath.

"We're safe. They moved us to Em and Rose's house. Its closer to Mobile, but still out in the middle of nowhere," Bella rambled, her words tripping over each other.

"Did you know that Jazz and Em were feds? I didn't. Carlisle's not, but he and Esme came with us, too. Jazz refuses to call Banner and Biers, he said they fucked up big time and now we're on our own. We almost lost you twice. If Jazz hadn't managed to get some blood to transfuse you, you would have died."

I slowly reached my hand up, cupping her face and halting her words.

"Are you okay? The baby?" I asked softly, watching a shy smile spread across her face.

"Yeah, we're both fine. I was going to tell you when we got home from Jazz's but we never made it," she sighed, her cheeks flushing. "Are you upset?"

"Why the hell would I be upset? The woman I love is carrying my child. I'm overjoyed," I assured her, my words not even coming close to just how happy I was.

We were apparently on the run from both the FBI and blood-thirsty killers who wanted us silenced.

But as long as my family was safe…everything was good in my book.

* * *

**Phew...got a bunch of chapters uploaded! I'm working on chapter 41 right now. Almost finished. We may end up closer to 50 chapters.**

**I love that you love me. You know that...right?**

**I love that I get reviews that say 'What?!' and 'You better not Key Party us' and emails that just say 'YOU SHOT EDWARD!'**

**Yeah...I love you. **


	34. Chapter 34

"You need to tell me what you know," I rasped, pushing myself up so I was sitting against the headboard.

Bella was standing next to me, glaring at Em and Jazz as they stood at the end of the bed.

"My name is Jasper Whitlock and this is Emmett McCarty. We're out of the Seattle field office. We're sorta undercover," Jazz admitted, looking sheepish as she shuffled his feet.

"What does that mean? How can you be 'sorta' undercover," Bella asked, propping her fists on her hips.

"We were kind of suspended after we had a little accident," Em said, his cheeks flushing slightly pink as he ran his hand over his shaved head.

"Explain…" I demanded with a growl.

"We have been partnering with the FDA in their investigation of Volturi. We were almost positive they _knew_ Lexamore was killing people, but weren't doing anything about it. But then, we accidentally blew up the safe house," Jasper said in a rush, not looking anywhere but at his feet.

"They said it was our fault, which I guess it was, but how were we supposed to know that the gas line ruptured when we hid the guns behind the stove?" Em blurted. "Anyway, they took us off the case but not before we found out that you guys had come forward with proof and were going to testify."

"You were our ticket to getting those bastards and maybe earning back the trust of our supervisors. So we found out where they were sticking you and followed you down. It was easy enough to fit in. Watch a few episodes of 'Swam People' and listen to some Credence Clearwater Revival and we were ready."

I sat there gaping at the two idiots in front of me.

They had infiltrated Witness Protection and risked our lives.

But in the end, it wasn't Biers and Banner that saved us…

It was them.

And for that I owed them my trust and gratitude.

"So…what happens now?" I asked, noticing the relief on both of their faces.

Bella's hand squeezed mine tightly as we listened to them explain their plan.

And oh, what a plan it was.

* * *

**Wassa plan, man?**

**GAH!  
**

**So...we have suggestions of beaver blood transfusions and stuffed beavers sawing through the umbilical cord.  
**

**Have I mentioned I love you guys?  
**


	35. Chapter 35

"You're going to use us as bait?" I asked, my mouth gaping as I stared at Em and Jazz.

"Yes. After word gets back to the head guys at Volturi, they are going to be furious. Not to mention that the mole they have in the department is going to be blind. No one knows we were down here, we made sure of that. Volturi is going to think you're dead and let their guard down. And that is when we let them know you're still alive and kicking and planning on testifying against them," Em said with an evil glint in his eye.

"You can use me, but not her," I growled, pulling Bella so she plopped down next to me on the bed.

I ignored her glare and protests and simply stared at the men, willing them to defy me.

"Okay," Jazz surrendered, reaching forward to shake my hand.

"But _I'm _the one they want," Bella whispered weakly, but there would be no budging on this.

She stayed safe, no matter what.

"Now…when can I get the hell out of this bed?" I asked, trying to push aside the heavy talk.

"Let me check those stitches and then we'll see," I heard from behind the boys.

Allycat came into the room, a black bag in her hand and thick glasses perched on the end of her nose.

"You're a doctor?" I gasped, enjoying the way Bella' chuckled next to me.

"Dr. Alice Whitlock, at your service," she said with a sardonic smile and not a hint of an accent.

"So all that time, everything was just a ruse?" I snapped, unable to merge this intelligent and classy woman wearing slacks and heels with the rough-talking, moonshine-drinking, slut I had come to know.

"Well…pretty much," she said lightly as she lifted the sheet covering me without any pretenses and poked and prodded around the gunshot wound.

"Ow," I whimpered, grabbing for Bella's hand and squeezing the shit out of it as Alice did her thing.

"Sorry. The stitches look good and there is no sign of infection. You should be good to get up and move around in a few more hours. But I don't want you to do anything strenuous," she said, cocking a knowing glance Bella's way.

My dirty little girl.

"Now as for you, Bella, Jasper has managed to sneak us into a GYN's office tonight. We'll get you all checked over and take it from there," Alice said kindly, placing a reassuring hand on Bella's arm as she stood. "Let's leave these two to talk."

After the door closed, I pulled Bella closer to me, tucking her head under my chin.

"I love you. You can't let anything happen to you. We need you," she whispered.

"I love you, too. And I promise nothing will happen to me," I replied, closing my eyes and just praying that I wouldn't break that promise.

* * *

**So yeah...Allycat is a doctor and Rose...well we shall see what is up with her soon.**

**I didn't get to read any reviews because of this damn no WiFi thing. I HATE IT!  
**

**Anyway...I'm sure they were EPIC!  
**

**LOVE YOU GUYS!  
**


	36. Chapter 36

"Do you have _any_ idea how hard the past few months were for me? When you guys were dancing around each other for so many weeks, my hands were itching to just get you in a room together and go at you," Rose squealed, her hands rubbing together.

I managed to keep my laughter to myself as she sat next to Bella on the couch.

Allycat cleared me to join everyone for dinner, and I swore food had never tasted so good.

I guessed having trampled so close to death would do that to you.

But now I was trying to come to terms with yet another secret.

"So, you're a beauty queen?" I asked, taking in her big blonde hair and big perky boobs with new eyes.

"I'm a _former_ beauty queen, but more importantly, I'm a certified sex therapist," she said seriously, pushing a wayward curl behind her ear.

How the hell her patients managed to concentrate in a session was beyond me.

"Let me try and get this straight...Allycat is a physician and you are a sex therapist," Bella sputtered, turning so she could meet Rose's eyes.

"Yep! And I have so many positions to tell you about that will make sex while you're pregnant that much more pleasurable," she purred, reaching over and grabbing Bella's inner thigh.

Um...

"Rose! Get your hands off of people unless you're billing their insurance! How many times do I have to tell you that?"

Phew...saved by Em's cheap ass.

*()*()*

"See right there? That's an arm. Looks like you are about ten weeks along," Dr. Allycat said quietly, her hand moving beneath the sheet that covered Bella's legs.

The dildo/wand thing was shoved up Bella's beaver as Ally maneuvered the thing to get a good look at our mini-kid.

"Everything looks great. We will get you started on some prenatal vitamins and keep an eye on your diet. No more road kill stew for you," she joked, pulling the wand out and chucking the little condom cover into the trash.

Jasper was waiting for us outside the door, dressed head to toe in black.

How he managed to get us into the office, I didn't know and didn't care.

All I cared about was that Bella and the baby were fine.

Keeping Bella tucked safely into my side, I held the little strip of pictures Ally had printed out for us in my hand, my thumb rubbing over the image.

My child…_our_ child.

Life was getting more complicated at every turn, but I wouldn't change it for a second.

* * *

**This is what happens when I watch Honey Boo Boo. Seriously...they will put anything on TLC...won't they?**

**See you on Monday because I'm running out of chapters and am just not ready to say goodbye to these guys yet.  
**

**MWAH!  
**


	37. Chapter 37

Two weeks.

Two weeks trapped in a house with eight people.

Em and Jazz I could handle, now that they were acting like normal human beings and not their crazy Southern stereotypes.

Ally and Rose were pretty laid back as well.

They cooed and awed over the little baby websites with Bella, making notes of what shit we needed to buy once we actually had a home and were safe.

But Esme and Carlisle…apparently you could take the rednecks out of the Bayou…

"Lookie what I done found!" Carlisle shouted as he burst through the front door, holding a dead armadillo by the tail.

It was obvious by the tire tread marks on the thing's back; it had been run over...repeatedly.

"Oh good! I needed a lil' somethin' to make this stew perfect," Esme squealed, grabbing the dead creature from Carlisle and slamming it down on Rose's counter.

Ally and Rose moaned as Esme started to butcher the animal right in front of them, while Bella ran from the room with her hand over her mouth.

"You do realize that we have plenty of food in the freezer. Organic, grain fed beef is just waiting to be used. You don't _have_ to search the highway for our dinner," Em said quietly, putting his hand on Carlisle's shoulder.

"Well yeah, I know. But Esme gets antsy if she can't take a cleaver to somethin' at least once a week," Carlisle said, sliding his hands to cover his junk as if he worried his dick might be next on the cutting board.

"This a boy or a girl 'dillo, Carlisle? You know we gotta name it afor we eat it," Esme announced as she held up the back end of the animal, waiting for Carlisle's examination.

"That'd be a boy 'dillo, Esme," he replied.

"Everyone, this is Frank. We'll be eatin' him with some biscuits tonight!"

"Hey…look at this!" Rose yelled, raising the volume on the TV and thankfully distracting us from the travesty going on in the kitchen.

Everyone gathered around the screen to watch as the head of Volturi Pharmaceutical appeared on camera.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, I'm happy to announce that the investigation concerning Lexamore has been dropped. The drug will once again be available to treat those patients who so desperately need it," Aro Volturi said, smiling widely beneath his greasy black mustache.

"Who the hell 'desperately needs' to get a fucking boner?" Jazz spat.

I looked around the room and found Bella's frightened eyes, realizing that the time had finally come.

"Get your shit together, boys. We've got a corporation to take down."

* * *

**Oh I just LOVE Carlisle and Esme!  
**

**The Lobotomy Channel...I love that!  
**

**Seriously...Honey Boo Boo is something to be watched once and then never again.  
**

**See you tomorrow!  
**


	38. Chapter 38

As the boys disappeared into Em's massive basement to gather the weapons we needed, I led Bella into the bedroom we had claimed as our own.

The moment the door was closed behind me, she pounced.

Little hands wrestled with the fly of my shorts as she pressed her tits against my chest.

Her tongue invaded my mouth, her kisses desperate.

"Stop," I whispered, reaching down to still her frantic hands.

"No. I _need_ you," she cried, tugging and yanking against my hold.

I could hear the tremor in her voice and see the tears on her cheeks.

"Nothing is going to happen to me. Everything is going to be fine, you know that. We've been over the plan a million times. It's foolproof," I soothed, but my words did little to reassure her.

"But those two idiots already blew up one building. I can't lose you, Edward. I just can't," she moaned, finally getting out of my grip and ripping at her clothes.

It only took her a second to have her clothes spread across the room.

"You are everything to me now, Edward. How could I raise this child without you?" she rasped, her hand covering the gentle swell of her belly.

I blinked quickly, trying to keep my really manly tears at bay.

"I _swear_ to you, there is nothing that could keep me from you," I pledged.

She relaxed slightly and I opened my arms to her, loving the way she melted against me.

"I love you so much," she mumbled into my chest, her fingers sliding under the hem of my shirt.

I held still as she stripped me, my clothes falling to the floor just as hers had.

With her gentle hands guiding me, she laid me out on the bed.

Her eyes were fathomless as she crawled up my body, our skin brushing sensuously as she straddled me.

My hands grasped onto her smooth thighs, my back arching as she took me inside her.

"Fuck, Bella," I grunted, watching her breasts sway as she rode me.

"You can't leave me," she choked out, tears streaming down her cheeks.

I sat up, still so hard inside her, and held her face in my hands.

"Never," I swore.

She closed her eyes and nodded her head, finally letting her orgasm crest over her.

I held her safely in my arms, thrusting twice more before I came as well.

The silence afterward was ominous as we both struggled to calm our breathing.

The knock on the door was loud, interrupting the intimate bubble we had created.

"Time to go."

* * *

**Well...at least they got to get it on one last time. Once the action starts I always forget to have them get naked. **

**I'm working on chapter 44 right now. Thinking it will be all done by chapter 46.  
**

**Next chapter...my favorite Esme line...EVAH!  
**

**Tomorrow...  
**


	39. Chapter 39

"You'll keep her safe?" I asked, but it came out more like a demand.

Rose and Ally just rolled their eyes at my question, while Esme scoffed and planted her hands on her hips.

"I'll have you know I was a shootin' guns afore you were shootin' loads out your cock," she spat, and then spat a wad of chew onto the ground.

Well…okay.

"I love you," I whispered, pressing a kiss to Bella's temple and then getting down on my knees at her feet.

"I love you, too," I sighed, nuzzling my nose against her slightly swollen belly.

I didn't look at her as we got in the truck, I knew it would be too hard and if she asked me not to go, I wouldn't go.

But more people were going to die if we didn't somehow manage to get the truth out there.

So being the good whistleblower I was, I ignored the danger and pressed ahead.

I could only hope the three men in the car with me would help me make it out alive.

* * *

**HA! LOVE Esme...  
**

**I know it was short. If I finish the last chapter today (which I probably will) I'll post another one later.  
**


	40. Chapter 40

"Are y'all _sure _this is gonna work?" Carlisle asked, pulling the brim of his ball cap down over his face.

It was odd to see him in designer jeans and a polo shirt, but he needed to blend into the crowd.

"I told you, this is their biggest event. We just need to get the tape of Edward and Bella's confession up on the jumbotron," Jazz whispered, pointing over to right field where the huge TV screen sat above the ivy-covered wall.

I had always wanted to go to Wrigley Field, but not like this.

Volturi Pharmaceuticals rented out the ballpark every year for their most lucrative fundraiser.

Tables were set up all over the outfield, while the current stars of the Cubs fooled around and tossed balls in the infield.

This year, there were pictures of sick kids plastered on anything that stood still as they tried to raise money for their revolutionary new cancer drug.

I wondered what the generous donors would think if they discovered that instead of funding cancer research, which didn't really bring in the big bucks, their money was going to developing the next round of erectile dysfunction drugs.

At least I would be able to stop their deceit from spreading any further and hopefully save millions of lives when we revealed the truth behind Lexamore.

We walked right down the concourse like we belonged there, keeping our heads down and our mouths closed.

Volturi minions were everywhere, hence the disguises.

Em had shaved the God-awful stripe on his head and grew some scruff.

Jazz had taken some shears to his wild hair and dyed it brown, hiding his blue eyes behind some shades.

We didn't think they knew Carlisle was still with us, but we made him shave his scraggly beard and hair, surprising us when we found he was pretty damn handsome.

And I finally got to ditch my beard, taking it down to just a goatee.

All in all, I thought we had everything covered.

Now, if we could only find the pressbox.

"Over here," Jazz whisper-yelled, opening a door marked 'pressbox'.

Huh…

Imagine that.

* * *

**Giggles...**

**I took some liberty with Wrigley. I'm a football/hockey/soccer fan...not baseball. So if I screwed up the ballpark...forgive me.  
**

**There are six more chapters. We should finish up with this story on Sunday.  
**

**Sad...I know.  
**

**Tomorrow!  
**

**Oh...and no one dies, Smusic. Don't worry :) I already promised Shell I wouldn't Key Party you guys.  
**


	41. Chapter 41

As we quietly walked into the pressbox, I was a little disappointed that it wasn't like it was in the movies.

There were no big windows looking out onto the field.

Instead, TV screens were mounted on the walls and computers sat on every flat surface.

Jazz managed to find the equipment connected to the jumbotron and shoved the disk inside.

"Now, you just go down to the field and make sure everyone notices you're alive and kicking. Once everyone is looking at you, I'll fire up the video and we'll watch as everything comes crashing down," Jazz said, rubbing his hands together like an evil genius.

With a very manly hug to each of them, I made my way back through the maze of tunnels that led out to the field.

As I walked out onto the turf, all I could think about was Bella.

Her strength and determination had been the catalyst for everything.

We would probably never have gotten together if we had not been thrust into Witness Protection.

Now, as I took a deep breath and readied myself to face possible doom, I thought of her and relaxed.

She and our child were safe and I was about to bring down the bad guys.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, my name is Bella Cullen, but I believe most of you know me as Marie Swan. I have some information you might find interesting."

I felt bile rise into my stomach as Bella's voice boomed through the stadium.

Sprinting out onto the field, I searched the area for my girl.

She stood, Rose and Ally beside her, on the large dais they had set up in right field, right underneath the jumbotron.

Seeing the microphone in her hand, I realized that Jazz and Em had planned to use her all along.

As my feet carried me across the turf, I tried to keep myself calm by planning their demise.

It didn't work.

* * *

**Oh shit...they used Bella anyway. Bad...bad Em and Jazz.**

**I'm so glad you all loved Esme so much.  
**

**I love YOU so much.  
**

**Tomorrow...  
**


	42. Chapter 42

Arms grabbed for me as I tried to get up onto the platform, desperate to have Bella safe in my arms.

I fought against them, my eyes on her as they pulled on my arms and kicked at my legs.

I lost the battle, ending up face down on the third base line.

"That man they are detaining right now is my husband, Edward Cullen. Although before we were whisked into the Witness Protection program, he was my executive assistant, Anthony Masen. Together we discovered that Volturi Pharmaceuticals were knowingly distributing a drug that was lethal. Although the FBI attempted to keep us safe, our location was discovered and men hired by Volturi tried to silence us. I am here today to tell you I will not be silenced. The drug is dangerous and should not be in the hands of _anyone_."

Bella's announcement was greeted by total silence.

The crowd, comprised of Volturi's largest supporters, was completely still as the video of Bella's deposition started playing on the jumbotron.

As her image on the screen spoke, I managed to knee the guard holding me in the nuts and scramble away.

I ran up next to Bella, pulling her into my arms and holding her tightly as I attempted to calm my racing heart.

"You lied to me," I rasped, still tasting bile in the back of my throat.

"I had to," she replied, her voice shaking slightly.

As Bella's testimony echoed around us, chaos reigned.

Aro Volturi attempted to get someone up in the pressbox to stop the video, but Em and Jazz had blocked the door, making it impossible to get inside.

The people seated at the tables, Volturi's generous and loyal supporters, were in an uproar as they listened to Bella's words on the screen.

A well-placed tip to the local TV station meant that within a few hours, the entire nation would know about Volturi's deceit.

And through it all, I held Bella and our child safely in my arms and watched it all unfold.

We had done it.

* * *

**They had done it! Go them!  
**

**Next chapter should post later today and then one on Saturday and one on Sunday.  
**


	43. Chapter 43

**Six Months Later**

"Bella, are you sure about this?" I grunted, my eyes locked on her swaying breasts.

I was flat on my back, my cock enveloped in her hot, tight pussy.

She was riding my ass like a champ, changing up positions without even removing my cock from inside her.

She turned around, giving me an epic view of her delectable ass as she held tightly to my thighs and met my upward thrusts with a downward swirl of her hips.

"Edward, if I don't get this kid out of me soon, I'm gonna scream. I've tried castor oil and spicy food and all that did was give me lightning shits," she moaned, making me wish her ass wasn't perilously close to my face.

"So you're using me?" I groaned, feeling my balls tighten even though we were discussing poop.

"You fucked the kid into me, you can fuck it out too!" she cried, her body shuddering as her climax ripped through her.

I took that as a sign to blow my load as well, filling her up with my magical seed. o~ o~

Bella flopped down next to me on the bed, her belly brushing my side as she curled against me.

"Are you sure you want to have this kid at home, and not in the safety of the hospital?" I panted, turning my head to look at her serene face.

She was so beautiful.

"Ally and Rose are more than capable of delivering this child, Edward," Bella sighed, reaching down to pull the sheet up over our rapidly cooling skin. "And besides, it's not like they haven't seen my twat already."

"_Please _don't remind me," I moaned, trying to forget that horrible weekend seminar that Rose gave on the pleasures of the female genitalia, which included 'hands on' experimentation.

But of course that was how I got Em and Jazz back for their little sneak attack at the stadium.

Nothing worse than knowing your buddy has seen your wife's twat.

"I just worry about you and the baby," I whispered, trying not to let my emotions get the better of me.

I swore, the last few weeks, you'd think _I_ was the pregnant one.

"Everything is going to be fine," Bella cooed, stroking her fingers across my brow with a steady hand.

Two hours later, when her water broke all over the bed and the contractions came fast and furious, I prayed she was right.

* * *

**So yeah...can't you just see Rose strapping Ally up into stirrups going...'this is the clitoris and this is the uvula'. - I'm such an ass. I know its the vulva. **

**Apparently I have a shitton more Sox fans than Cubs fans. I apologize. Was that like sending them to Shea and not Yankee stadium?  
**

**Told ya I was not a baseball fan.  
**

**I was going to save this for later but I got a tooth extracted yesterday and it hurts like a mofo, so I'm giving you this now and laying down, hoping that the million babies I have here won't jump on my guts.  
**

**I got something in the mail from Shell yesterday and something is coming from Beegurl today. I am so spoiled it ain't funny.  
**

**Tomorrow...  
**


	44. Chapter 44

"Do you have a fucking blow torch down there or something? Holy shit that hurts!"

I tried not to scream as Bella crushed my hand when another contraction ripped through her.

She was spread out for all to see, propped up on the dining room table.

Ally and Rose were doing something down below in her nether regions, which were currently being tortured by my 'demon spawn,' while Carlisle boiled water and got the 'shine ready so everyone could celebrate once the baby was born.

Jazz and Em were really fucking smart and decided to stand guard outside in case a congregation of alligators decided to storm the house.

"Get this kid outta me!" Bella screamed, her nails sinking into my hand.

"You heard her! Get the baby out," I whimpered, trying not to cry like a pussy over the pain.

"You want ta keep da placenta? I've gots a excellent recipe for placenta stew," Esme asked, poking her head out from the kitchen.

"Esme, you shut your mouth!" Bella screamed, her body contorting as she pushed.

"Jebus, I was just tryin' ta help," Esme muttered as she disappeared back into the other room.

"One more push, Bella," Ally said encouragingly as she wrestled with something beneath the sheet covering Bella's thighs.

"Okay…okay," Bella panted, her face red with exertion as she looked over at me. "I'm sorry I said I hated you. I don't really hate you, this just really fucking hurts."

"I know, baby. You're doing such a good job. Now you heard Ally, one more push and we can meet our kid," I cooed, grateful that she had released my hand so she could grip the table.

The room went eerily silent as Bella held her breath and pushed.

Then…

Our child let out the most fantastic cry.

"It's a boy!" Ally announced as she cut the cord and got the kid all cleaned up.

I bent over and pressed my lips to Bella's forehead, thanking God and Buddha and every fucking superhero I could think of for bringing my kid safely into the world.

'Cause you _know _Spiderman helped with that shit.

"I love you so much," I whispered against her sweaty skin, enjoying the last few moments of just the two of us.

"I love you, too," she replied, but I could tell she was distracted as she watched Rose and Ally get the kid ready for us.

Guess we should come up with a name for him.

Can't call him 'kid' for the rest of his life.

"Are you ready to meet your son?" Ally asked, gently placing the wrapped bundle in Bella's arms.

Looking down into his little face, I felt my chest get tight.

The little shit looked just like me.

"I want to name him Masen. Masen Cullen," Bella sighed, brushing her fingers over his cheek.

I barked out a sob and pulled them both into my arms.

My past and present were now wrapped up in one perfect little package.

And everything was right with the world.

* * *

**Aw! **

**One more chapter...  
**

**Tomorrow...  
**


	45. Chapter 45

**Three Years Later**

"Masen, you get your little butt back here!"

My voice echoed through the maze of trees and brush, ricocheting over the water.

I could hear him giggle, which told me exactly where he was hiding, but I made a big production of hunting around for him.

This was his favorite game; hide and seek and run from the gators.

He thought it was hilarious.

My balls were tingling in fear just thinking about those monsters getting close to us.

"Masen, momma said if we weren't home for supper she was gonna feed yours to Jake," I threatened. "And you know how much Jake likes roadkill stew."

The little shit came running out of his hiding spot and right into my arms.

"Come on, dada. I don't want Jake ta eat ma stew," he announced, his eyes narrowing at even the thought of our mutt eating his food.

As I walked back to the house with Mase in my arms, listening to his little rambling voice, I tried to imagine a better life.

I couldn't.

"Next time I haz to have a sitter, can it be Auntie Allycat and Unca Jazz? Auntie Rose aways reads me books bouts being a 'proper gentleman' and 'no means no'," Masen whispered sleepily into my neck.

Fucking Rose and her 'raise little boys to be good men' attitude.

"Sure, buddy," I assured him, running my fingers through his wild hair.

Walking into our house, my stomach grumbled as the scent of our dinner wafted over me.

I was glad Bella never took to Esme's way of cooking and we were having chili for dinner and not really roadkill stew.

But we'd discovered it was easier to get Mase to eat something called roadkill stew than chili any day.

"Where's my love?" I called as I set Masen down on his feet so he could wash his hands.

"Aw momma, no kisses!" he squealed as he attempted to avoid her.

"I'll take his kisses," I cooed, pulling her into my arms as soon as she was close enough.

"You _know_ I've got enough kisses for the both of you," Bella teased, pressing her lips to mine in a delicate caress.

"Well, I have to get ready to share my kisses with this one, now don't I?" I sighed, my hand pressing against her slightly swollen belly.

Kid number two was in the oven and cooking away.

My sperm was covered in Miracle Grow, I swear. o~ o~

"I'll always have enough love to go around," she said with a smile, making my heart overflow with love for her and our kids.

When a loud knock sounded on the door behind me, I growled low in my chest, making Bella giggle.

"Go away!" I shouted, but the visitor refused to be ignored, their knock sounding again.

I released Bella and stalked over to the door, swinging it open wide.

"What?!" I barked, ignoring the way the young girl standing in the doorway startled.

"Um, I'm looking for Edward Cullen," she mumbled, pushing her thick, dishwater-brown hair behind her ear.

"Well, you got him. Wass up?" I drawled, knowing it was unfair to use my dazzling charm on this poor, unsuspecting girl, but unable to help myself.

"I'm one of the attorneys working with the FDA in the case against Volturi Pharmaceuticals. Both the criminal and civil cases have finally wrapped up and I'm here to award you your part of the settlement," she rambled, digging into the massive bag on her shoulder and pulling out an envelope with a flourish.

I took the envelope carefully, like it might contain a venomous snake or something.

Underneath all my manly bravado, I was really just a giant pussy.

As I looked at the paper in my hand, I didn't notice the torn envelope had fluttered to the ground.

I didn't realize I wasn't breathing until my vision dimmed.

And I couldn't understand how it was possible I was holding a check for seventeen million dollars.

"After we recognized the lengths you and Mrs. Cullen went to to bring the deplorable behavior of Volturi Pharmaceuticals to light, we decided you needed to be properly rewarded," she preened, my silence and dumbass behavior boosting her confidence.

"Holy shit," I rasped, feeling my knees start to wobble.

The ground seemed to tremble beneath me and I felt the attorney's hands on my chest as she tried to steady me.

The next sound I heard had me spinning around, my balance magically restored.

It's hard to not be scared straight by the cock of a shotgun.

"Get your fuckin' hands off my man."

"Bella, put the damn shotgun down. This woman has just made us millionaires. How 'bout you slow your roll," I snapped, grabbing for the gun.

"I already told you, I refuse to go on that stupid reality show," she said quietly, elbowing me in the gut.

"This is part of the settlement from Volturi. Now smile pretty and say thank you to the nice lady," I growled, reaching out and tweaking her nipples.

"Thank you for making us filthy rich. But if you touch my man again, I'll cut a bitch," she said, sugary sweet.

I sighed as I realized that was probably as good as I was going to get from Bella and escorted the attorney off the porch.

"Thank you very much," I said, making sure to keep my distance from her as we walked.

Just as she opened her mouth to reply, Jake came bombing out of the trees, a gator hot on his heels.

The ragged mutt, seeking protection, dove behind the lawyer's legs, knocking her off-balance.

It was a comedy of errors after that as she careened into me, sending me flying to my ass with her landing on top of me.

Jake pissed himself as he cowered behind our prone forms, eying the quickly approaching gator.

I tried to scramble to my feet, hoping I would be able to defend us against the reptile, but the booming sound of a gunshot startled the creature away.

Lawyer-girl relaxed against me, the rush having taking most of her strength from her.

I looked up as the bright sunshine was blocked by someone standing above me and found Bella leaning down, the shotgun back in her more than capable hands.

"I warned ya, bitch," she whispered as she brought the gun up.

Only in Alabama...

* * *

**The End!**

**So the Cullen family was joined by a little girl a few months later they named Daisy. They lived in the Southern version of the lap of luxury, with their friends all close by.  
**

**I'm so happy that my last drabble was so reader-input driven. Seriously...your stories and anecdotes really made this better. I loved reading each and every one of your comments and wish I had more time to reply.  
**

**I'm finishing up the last two chapters of Derby. The last regular chapter of Fatty will post tonight.  
**

**And then...that's it for Kitkat.  
**

**I'm not pulling to publish, so don't worry about running to download stuff. Although I do have copies of most of my fics in pdf form on my blog.  
**

**kitkat681 . blogspot . com  
**

**IF *and that's a huge IF* I publish I will not be advertising it. I have really pathetic dreams because I know I will never see Paris or London or live in a little town in Maine and own a soap business, like I'd love to, so I dream small dreams like publishing some smut kindle books for a dollar and having a few of them sell.  
**

**I love you...each and every one of you. Don't doubt me on that or say I can't love you because I don't _know_ you. I know you.  
**

**And I love you.  
**


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